Sobriety from drugs is a big deal for me. Today, I have 989 days clean from drugs and I don’t drink. I never thought I would see this day. For so long, I thought I was going to die.
Now, I use this thought as motivation to stay clean, because I truly believe deep in my soul that I will die if I use just one more time. Getting clean was one of the hardest things I have done. I know that I will never use again. I will continue to progress forward in life.
In addition to my clean time, I have also been working on my attitude. My attitude used to be so negative and always seeing the dark side of things. But nowadays, I focus on the positive side. There are two sides to every coin. I think about this cliché and what it means to me. I think everyone, including me, could always find something to complain about.
At the same time, everyone can always find something to be thankful for. I’m thankful for every blessing I receive and for every lesson I’m learning.
One thing I still struggle with is my feeling of being judged by others. This is especially true when it comes to old friends and biological family members. Everyone changes and evolves with time. I know I am not the same person I was last year or 5 years ago, or longer.
I wish other people would leave my past in the past. I keep in mind that in the bible Christ said to remember Lot’s Wife, which I wrote about in my previous blog post titled Looking Forward to What’s Next. In this post, I was talking about how it’s important to let go of the past.
I understand how hard it can be to let things go, but holding grudges is terrible. And I am reminded of the bible passage from Matthew 6:14-16 which commands us to be forgiving of others if we too wish to be forgiven.
14 For if you forgive other people when they trespass against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
Matthew 6:14-15
15 But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, your Father will not forgive your trespasses.
As I sit here, writing, I am overcome with feelings. I realize I cannot expect me from other people. I realize I must focus on myself and my own journey. This is my life to live and no one else is allowed to judge me. Some days I feel alone, but I’m not lonely.
Therefore, when people keep hanging on to the past, it only creates negative emotions and vibrations. Who wants to sit and wallow in that kind of negativity. I know I don’t!
Thanks for reading! I can’t wait to hear from you in the comments. What do you think?
Leave a Reply